How to Make Your Wedding Planning As Enjoyable As Your Wedding

PC: Georgie Morley Photography

When you’re planning a wedding, it can be so easy to put so much energy into perfecting this one big day, that you forget that your wedding is comprised of so much more than that. It’s all the days leading up to it - it’s the meetings with your planner, how you show up to conversations with your partner, it’s the dress shopping and the seating plan deciding.

When I was planning my own wedding I got really clear on wanting to enjoy THAT process, as much (as possible) as the wedding day itself. Because at the end of the day, it’s all about celebrating this great love story, so why would I want to take away from that for a second?

Of course stress will come, but here are some things I focused on to stay anchored in a positive, playful perspective while I was wedding planning, making the whole experience * almost * as enjoyable as the wedding day itself.

1. I journaled nearly every morning on how I wanted the experience to go - but in the past tense, as if it had already happened. This looked like “Our planning process has been full of ease and enjoyment, our wedding day went so smoothly and felt so us, I love getting to plan our wedding,” etc. This allowed me to reset the overwhelm, the stress, and the urgency that can often come with planning a large and incredibly meaningful event, and to step into the feeling that I wanted to be embodying during that time. It also means that I have a journal of spells that I can look back on with pride, knowing that I made that thing happen!

2. Whenever things got stressful or tense (and I’m human so they did) I stepped away. Took a break. Turned the computer off. Went for a walk. Did something else. I tried to make sure that when I was in an active state of wedding planning (making calls or working on a spreadsheet or talking with family) that I was in a good headspace. And if I ever found myself forcing something or worrying, I would step away from that thing until I was in a better space. Basic human psychology here, but somehow when you are involved in the planning of what is supposed to be the best day of your life, all that pressure can make our basic human psychology practices run right out the door.

3. I turned to the parts of the planning process that I enjoyed. I am not a spreadsheet girl, but I love a handmade gift. A piece of art. A thoughtful touch. So, making our stationery was such a joy for me, as was putting together our goodie bags (and making sure they wouldn’t just get thrown out or left in someone’s hotel room) as was making our signage. Find the thing that feels good to you, and carry it through the whole process.

4. On the wedding day, I really let myself let it all go. The plan for the day, my expectations, hell, even my dress’s integrity. I let them all go, and surrendered to what the day became, knowing that I had an amazing team behind me to steer the ship. It rained, our reception location flip flopped, my dress ripped at the end of the night, but because I had been practicing my perspective leading up to the wedding day, I was able to roll with it all, and truly have the best day of my life, with my favorite people and my now husband by my side. I wouldn’t have it any other way.

How to Make Your Wedding Feel Personal

When my husband and I were planning our wedding, while we wanted everything to look and feel beautiful, we most importantly wanted it to feel like us. We've all been to those weddings - where you could nearly swap the bride and groom out for a different couple, and no one would notice. But, as artists ourselves and people who have both walked the path less traveled in life, it was super important that our wedding reflected our personalities and love story. I like to think we were pretty successful in doing so, and here are a few approaches I'd suggest if you are of a similar mindset.

1. Focus on storytelling over aesthetics.

A lot of the decisions you make around your wedding will seem to center around how everything looks - from the florals to the tablescapes to the bridesmaids' dresses. And while the aesthetics are obviously important (I do a design wedding stationery after all), if you want your wedding to feel personal, you have to focus more on how things feel and less on how things look, and a great way to do that is through storytelling.

Use every opportunity you can to tell the story of who you each are - as individuals and as a couple. This will immediately make your wedding yours and yours alone. This can look like getting personalized stationery with imagery you are known for, turning the first text your partner ever sent you into custom cocktail napkins, or simply having your officiant tell the story of how you met.

2. Choose vendors you connect with.

This may seem obvious, but when you go to pick your vendors, there can be so much pressure to lock someone in who comes highly recommended, and to do it yesterday. Just make sure to check in with yourself - Do I vibe with this person? Do they seem to understand me and my partner?

While it's important to focus on the product they deliver (their photos, their florals, etc) it's also important to focus on how they are delivering it, who they are and how you connect with them. Because, at the end of the day, your vendors are going to be holding the torch for how you want your wedding to go, and witnessing you in some very intimate moments. You want to feel comfortable with them and you want to know that they get you!

(We did an AMAZING job at this with our wedding and if you are getting married on Nantucket and need incredible vendor recs I'm you girl)

3. Carry a creative thread throughout your planning process.

You don't have to be an artist to add your signature touch to your wedding day. Whether you want to hand paint the place cards or make all the ceramics or coordinate a surprise flash mob during the reception, find one thing you want to DIY on your wedding day, and use it as a creative outlet throughout your planning process. It will help your guests feel the YOU in your wedding, and it will also be a great respite to return to when you inevitably get tired of looking at spreadsheets.

What are you doing to add a personal touch on your wedding day? Leave a comment below!

What to Include in your Wedding Stationery

You’ve probably googled this before and given yourself a minor aneurysm. There’s a lot that can go into wedding stationery - but I’m here to remind you that not everything has to. Take a deep breath. Remember - it’s 2024. You did not hire Emily Post as your wedding planner. This is your wedding, and you only have to include what feels important to YOU (and 1-2 people whose opinion really matters to you, like your fiancé and your mom, for example).

These days there are so many different ways people approach their invitations - from sending digital invites with music accompanying, to putting all the info on their wedding website that they send out in an email, to sending out full invitation suites that they design themselves on Minted. There is so much variety, which can feel overwhelming - but it doesn’t have to! It also means that there’s room for you and your fiance to have the wedding - and the wedding stationery - that feels like you.

That said, if you’re here, you’re probably the old fashioned type that likes receiving and sending a paper invite, and you’re hopefully looking for something a little more personal and fun than the classic invitations you’re used to seeing. If that’s you, I’m glad you’re here! I’m going to break down what goes into wedding stationery, and give you my two cents on what to send and when.

Before the Day Goods - Surprise! This is everything that goes out before your wedding day, typically in two installments.

-Save the Date - These should go out one year to six months before your wedding. The earlier the better, especially for destination weddings, so that people have time to plan their travel, book their accommodations, all that good stuff. As with the title, these are meant for people to “save the date” for your wedding, so don’t feel like you have to have your entire wedding planned out before you send these.

The invite itself is usually postcard style, including the couple’s name, date and location of your wedding - along with a link to your wedding website as well (if you have one). Stylistically I like to keep these on the simpler side (such as with a portrait of the venue) and leave the bulk of the design for the main invitation.

-Invitation - This goes out roughly four months to six weeks before your wedding. Again, the sooner the better, especially if your wedding requires travel.

At this point, you should have more of a sense of where all of your wedding events are happening, what kind of vibe you want, attire, etc, and your invite is an opportunity to welcome people into that vibe. It should get people excited, and if you work with me, at least one person should want to frame it (I hope). It can also serve as a reminder for people to finalize their travel plans if need be, an opportunity to fill them in on important details, and an encouragement for their RSVP.

Many pieces can go into this - not only the formal “please join us for the marriage of so and so,” but also a schedule of events cards, RSVP card, maps, invites to other more “exclusive” events like a rehearsal dinner, etc. Again, you can really play around with what you want to include here - but my Standard package covers the basics of what I think every couple needs.

On The Day Goods - This includes all of the signage and paper goods needed on your wedding day. It’s an opportunity to incorporate the design from your invitations to give your guests a cohesive feel, and to fill people in on all the things (like what they’re eating, drinking, listening to, etc). This can include but is not limited to:

-Ceremony Program

-Drink Menu

-Dinner Menu

-Table Signs

-Welcome Sign

-Escort Cards

-Place Cards

After the Day - This is your thank you notes! These can go out up to one year after your wedding day, but I suggest getting started once you return from your honeymoon (if you go on one). It’s a great way to keep the memory of your wedding alive, and thus I think the actual note you send should reflect that memory as well - with an illustration of your florals, or a photo of you and your new spouse, or a continuation of your invitation design. Need a last minute thank you note made just for you? I’ve got a custom greeting card set option on my website separate from my wedding stationery packages to get you going, and would love to work with you.

The moral of the story? Do what feels good to you, while thinking of your guests’ experience throughout the process. This is your wedding, and people will remember and enjoy the things that felt like you, not like what Emily Post told you to do.

Yours Truly,

Sage