How to Make Your Wedding Planning As Enjoyable As Your Wedding

PC: Georgie Morley Photography

When you’re planning a wedding, it can be so easy to put so much energy into perfecting this one big day, that you forget that your wedding is comprised of so much more than that. It’s all the days leading up to it - it’s the meetings with your planner, how you show up to conversations with your partner, it’s the dress shopping and the seating plan deciding.

When I was planning my own wedding I got really clear on wanting to enjoy THAT process, as much (as possible) as the wedding day itself. Because at the end of the day, it’s all about celebrating this great love story, so why would I want to take away from that for a second?

Of course stress will come, but here are some things I focused on to stay anchored in a positive, playful perspective while I was wedding planning, making the whole experience * almost * as enjoyable as the wedding day itself.

1. I journaled nearly every morning on how I wanted the experience to go - but in the past tense, as if it had already happened. This looked like “Our planning process has been full of ease and enjoyment, our wedding day went so smoothly and felt so us, I love getting to plan our wedding,” etc. This allowed me to reset the overwhelm, the stress, and the urgency that can often come with planning a large and incredibly meaningful event, and to step into the feeling that I wanted to be embodying during that time. It also means that I have a journal of spells that I can look back on with pride, knowing that I made that thing happen!

2. Whenever things got stressful or tense (and I’m human so they did) I stepped away. Took a break. Turned the computer off. Went for a walk. Did something else. I tried to make sure that when I was in an active state of wedding planning (making calls or working on a spreadsheet or talking with family) that I was in a good headspace. And if I ever found myself forcing something or worrying, I would step away from that thing until I was in a better space. Basic human psychology here, but somehow when you are involved in the planning of what is supposed to be the best day of your life, all that pressure can make our basic human psychology practices run right out the door.

3. I turned to the parts of the planning process that I enjoyed. I am not a spreadsheet girl, but I love a handmade gift. A piece of art. A thoughtful touch. So, making our stationery was such a joy for me, as was putting together our goodie bags (and making sure they wouldn’t just get thrown out or left in someone’s hotel room) as was making our signage. Find the thing that feels good to you, and carry it through the whole process.

4. On the wedding day, I really let myself let it all go. The plan for the day, my expectations, hell, even my dress’s integrity. I let them all go, and surrendered to what the day became, knowing that I had an amazing team behind me to steer the ship. It rained, our reception location flip flopped, my dress ripped at the end of the night, but because I had been practicing my perspective leading up to the wedding day, I was able to roll with it all, and truly have the best day of my life, with my favorite people and my now husband by my side. I wouldn’t have it any other way.

How to Make Your Wedding Feel Personal

When my husband and I were planning our wedding, while we wanted everything to look and feel beautiful, we most importantly wanted it to feel like us. We've all been to those weddings - where you could nearly swap the bride and groom out for a different couple, and no one would notice. But, as artists ourselves and people who have both walked the path less traveled in life, it was super important that our wedding reflected our personalities and love story. I like to think we were pretty successful in doing so, and here are a few approaches I'd suggest if you are of a similar mindset.

1. Focus on storytelling over aesthetics.

A lot of the decisions you make around your wedding will seem to center around how everything looks - from the florals to the tablescapes to the bridesmaids' dresses. And while the aesthetics are obviously important (I do a design wedding stationery after all), if you want your wedding to feel personal, you have to focus more on how things feel and less on how things look, and a great way to do that is through storytelling.

Use every opportunity you can to tell the story of who you each are - as individuals and as a couple. This will immediately make your wedding yours and yours alone. This can look like getting personalized stationery with imagery you are known for, turning the first text your partner ever sent you into custom cocktail napkins, or simply having your officiant tell the story of how you met.

2. Choose vendors you connect with.

This may seem obvious, but when you go to pick your vendors, there can be so much pressure to lock someone in who comes highly recommended, and to do it yesterday. Just make sure to check in with yourself - Do I vibe with this person? Do they seem to understand me and my partner?

While it's important to focus on the product they deliver (their photos, their florals, etc) it's also important to focus on how they are delivering it, who they are and how you connect with them. Because, at the end of the day, your vendors are going to be holding the torch for how you want your wedding to go, and witnessing you in some very intimate moments. You want to feel comfortable with them and you want to know that they get you!

(We did an AMAZING job at this with our wedding and if you are getting married on Nantucket and need incredible vendor recs I'm you girl)

3. Carry a creative thread throughout your planning process.

You don't have to be an artist to add your signature touch to your wedding day. Whether you want to hand paint the place cards or make all the ceramics or coordinate a surprise flash mob during the reception, find one thing you want to DIY on your wedding day, and use it as a creative outlet throughout your planning process. It will help your guests feel the YOU in your wedding, and it will also be a great respite to return to when you inevitably get tired of looking at spreadsheets.

What are you doing to add a personal touch on your wedding day? Leave a comment below!